Been thinking hard lately and have realized what has been bothering me most and made me rather sad. Sad at the fact that i might fail my first class ever (stats 10). Not because I havent tried, or smart BUT because the system aka my school, has no other option for me to succeed. I’m not a math person, last time i took math was my junior year in hs, now im a junior in college.I can keep up with basic math. I’ve tried to keep up with this shit, but its a dog eat dog course. No remorse type shit. I tried to drop the class, but i cant drop and impacted course unless i have serious reason (i.e death, injury, sickness etc). Its bullshit cause I been working my ass off.  I hate that i let this class affect my spirit. Yes it may sound emo, but it has affected me nonetheless . And at this point im tired, all i need is to fulfill my math requirement. Thats fucking it. But no this university wasn’t built for people like me to succeed (woman of color) . I’m tired. Just tired. I will overcome this, and have gotten alot of encouragement from my support system. But at the end of the day i need the encouragement from within. Thats where I need it most, and its taking a while to kick in. I need strength, and I don’t think its weak to own up to that. Im beyond frustrated with the system. AND THE MUTHA FUCKIN MAN. smh.done.